Boom Tho Girl of the Month: February
21/02/08 15:52 Filed in: BTGOM
Due
to busyness on my end, I'm a little late on the new
Boom Tho Girl of the month. I had planned to
coordinate the "Boom Tho Girl" video with the Feb.
GOTM (Girl of the Month), but sadly, I have been
overwhelmed with All-Star stuff and Yahoo!
Anyways, first things first. Thanks to everyone who emailed Julia Allison my behalf. To be honest, I emailed her on my behalf as well. Somewhat surprisingly, she responded to me. Wanna know what she said? Good, I thought so:
Hi Rod!!
You're a bundle of joy. Thanks for making me a Boom Tho Girl
I
will put
it in my official biography, for sure.
A lot of people forwarded that link to me, actually - with really
positive
comments about you!! You have a ton of fans
God, could I use any more emoticons in this email?? I've been up all
night
working and am more than a little loopy!!
Anyway, I think you're fabulous!
Xo
julia
Let's take a moment to analyze what just happened here. I'll go sentence by sentence.
"You're a bundle of joy" -- She is already calling me her baby. Good sign.
"Thanks for making me a Boom Tho Girl I will put it in my official
biography for sure" -- She wants to let our love
unfurl.
"A lot of people forwarded that link to me, actually -- with really positive comments about you!! You have a ton of fans" -- Peer pressure got to her, it
would seem.
"God, could I use any more emoticons in this email?? I've been up all night working and am more than a little loopy!!" -- She has been uncontrollably winking and smiling all night because of me.
"Anyway, I think you're fabulous!" -- She thinks I would be the perfect father for her children, obviously.
Now that that's done, it's time to introduce the new Boom Tho GOTM. I guess I'll start with a story about her because I actually know this one, or knew her back in the day.
When I was in high school, I wasn't very big time at all. I was actually a ridiculously late bloomer as evidenced here in this very good retelling of my high school days. I always had a kind of attitude that allowed me to lie to myself and think that I was something more than I was, and that helped me to where I am now. I never settled for what I was supposed to settle for.
That being said, girls weren't exactly a different story. I could have maybe gotten with some of the riff raff (you know what I mean), but I always aspired to get with the girls that were way out of my league. Well, like Seth in "Superbad", I was fatefully partnered with a certain girl for autoshop class. She was easily one of the best looking girls out of the 3200 students at Torrey Pines High and for some reason she was partnered with me.
Needless to say I was happy to be have an opportunity to show my charisma and charm on a daily basis. We changed oil and rotated tires. We laughed about how useless most of the work was and preferred to do most our assignments on her BMW rather than on my 88 Cadillac Coupe DeVille.
I felt like we were flirtatious enough at the time for me to possibly turn a corner. You gotta understand that a facebook poke didn't exist back then, so I was gonna have to do something else if I wanted to get her to go to prom with "just enough Rod Benson". I, being the computer nerd I was (this was before computer nerds were fashionable), made a "Will you go to prom with me?" website that I was going to show her during lunch. I knew she'd say yes because I was the man.
Well, I walked her into the library where the computers were, but before we reached the computer area, the second bell rang. The second bell meant get your ass to class or else.
"What were you going to show me anyway?" she asked me.
"I'll show you later, don't worry," I responded.
Lunch ended, class began, and dreams were shattered. Right after school she was asked by somebody else. That same day I was so close, but ousted by the second lunch bell.
We continued our flirtatious ways during class and when we graduated, we agreed to meet up in LA when I played UCLA. She said she was gonna go up there to be a model. Three weeks after graduation her phone number changed and we didn't speak again.
Two years later, I was watching TV and this commercial came on:
I kept telling people things like "I used to change her oil, if you know what I mean," I don't think they even believed it in the literal way I meant it. I guess she ended up being pretty big time doing whatever it was she was doing.
So, since it's my site and I can do whatever I want with whatever I want, I've decided that she will be the second Boom Tho GOTM. Her name is Callie Garrison, and a long time ago I rotated her tires, if you know what I mean. Like I took the tires off her car and put them back on is what I mean. Now she has a boyfriend and all that, so she's not exactly ready like spaghetti. Still, she's the Old Spice girl and I'm the leader of the Boom Tho movement. Guess, I'm still a computer nerd, but it's fashionable now.
Anyways, first things first. Thanks to everyone who emailed Julia Allison my behalf. To be honest, I emailed her on my behalf as well. Somewhat surprisingly, she responded to me. Wanna know what she said? Good, I thought so:
Hi Rod!!
You're a bundle of joy. Thanks for making me a Boom Tho Girl
I
will put
it in my official biography, for sure.
A lot of people forwarded that link to me, actually - with really
positive
comments about you!! You have a ton of fans
God, could I use any more emoticons in this email?? I've been up all
night
working and am more than a little loopy!!
Anyway, I think you're fabulous!
Xo
julia
Let's take a moment to analyze what just happened here. I'll go sentence by sentence.
"You're a bundle of joy" -- She is already calling me her baby. Good sign.
"Thanks for making me a Boom Tho Girl
I will put it in my official
biography for sure" -- She wants to let our love
unfurl.
"A lot of people forwarded that link to me, actually -- with really positive comments about you!! You have a ton of fans
" -- Peer pressure got to her, it
would seem.
"God, could I use any more emoticons in this email?? I've been up all night working and am more than a little loopy!!" -- She has been uncontrollably winking and smiling all night because of me.
"Anyway, I think you're fabulous!" -- She thinks I would be the perfect father for her children, obviously.
Now that that's done, it's time to introduce the new Boom Tho GOTM. I guess I'll start with a story about her because I actually know this one, or knew her back in the day.
When I was in high school, I wasn't very big time at all. I was actually a ridiculously late bloomer as evidenced here in this very good retelling of my high school days. I always had a kind of attitude that allowed me to lie to myself and think that I was something more than I was, and that helped me to where I am now. I never settled for what I was supposed to settle for.
That being said, girls weren't exactly a different story. I could have maybe gotten with some of the riff raff (you know what I mean), but I always aspired to get with the girls that were way out of my league. Well, like Seth in "Superbad", I was fatefully partnered with a certain girl for autoshop class. She was easily one of the best looking girls out of the 3200 students at Torrey Pines High and for some reason she was partnered with me.
Needless to say I was happy to be have an opportunity to show my charisma and charm on a daily basis. We changed oil and rotated tires. We laughed about how useless most of the work was and preferred to do most our assignments on her BMW rather than on my 88 Cadillac Coupe DeVille.
I felt like we were flirtatious enough at the time for me to possibly turn a corner. You gotta understand that a facebook poke didn't exist back then, so I was gonna have to do something else if I wanted to get her to go to prom with "just enough Rod Benson". I, being the computer nerd I was (this was before computer nerds were fashionable), made a "Will you go to prom with me?" website that I was going to show her during lunch. I knew she'd say yes because I was the man.
Well, I walked her into the library where the computers were, but before we reached the computer area, the second bell rang. The second bell meant get your ass to class or else.
"What were you going to show me anyway?" she asked me.
"I'll show you later, don't worry," I responded.
Lunch ended, class began, and dreams were shattered. Right after school she was asked by somebody else. That same day I was so close, but ousted by the second lunch bell.
We continued our flirtatious ways during class and when we graduated, we agreed to meet up in LA when I played UCLA. She said she was gonna go up there to be a model. Three weeks after graduation her phone number changed and we didn't speak again.
Two years later, I was watching TV and this commercial came on:
I kept telling people things like "I used to change her oil, if you know what I mean," I don't think they even believed it in the literal way I meant it. I guess she ended up being pretty big time doing whatever it was she was doing.
So, since it's my site and I can do whatever I want with whatever I want, I've decided that she will be the second Boom Tho GOTM. Her name is Callie Garrison, and a long time ago I rotated her tires, if you know what I mean. Like I took the tires off her car and put them back on is what I mean. Now she has a boyfriend and all that, so she's not exactly ready like spaghetti. Still, she's the Old Spice girl and I'm the leader of the Boom Tho movement. Guess, I'm still a computer nerd, but it's fashionable now.
