Funny MySpace Messages 5
26/01/07 23:57 Filed in: MySpace
Messages
I think I should just accept the fact that 15 year
old girls will send me messages. I used to get
all mad, but ahh what the heck...I guess at the end
of the day it’s a compliment...right? Hahahah
Psych! Yea right. These little girls
really, really, think that I’ll respond to them.
Im 22 years old! Why in the world would I
respond to you? Take this young lady for
example:
She sent me this:
you should get me tickets to ur next game!?!?!?!
First of all, she lives in like Ohio or something so how in the world would I give her tickets? Secondly, is this a question or a statement? And why the heck is she so damn excited? Well I guess it only makes sense seeing how she hasn’t even had 10th grade english yet. This was on her profile:
“Hey people my name is Sam im a Sophmore at hillsboro high school. I did cheerleading but i hated it and i will never do it again. Mikee aguliar and aly tarpley are my bwest friends. And Gordo is my body guard so dont try to mess with me!!”
She wants tickets and here’s what I know about her: She hates cheerleading, she is 14 or 15, and she has people who she refers to as “bwest” friends. No tickets for u lil bebe...
The fact of the matter is it could always get worse...like this girl:
Its the girl on the right... 15 years old. Her display name, literally is “WHY U HATE ME BECAUSE MAN WIFE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” me: What the heck does that mean? The only thing I hated right off the bat was her damn display name. Heres what she sent me:
hay
Body: hay wats poppin
Hayy? Nothins poppin cuz ur 10 years too young and 100 lbs too heavy lil bebe.
no
Body: u don't me but hay
I dont you but hay. I...dont you.... but hay. That’s interesting. I think I should send her a message back..It would read “Normally do meet frut.” I dont even know what that means but I bet she could gather some meaning from it. Notice the subject of the message..”no”. Was that supposed to be in between “dont” and “me”? Is she actually smarter than what Im giving her credit for and she is trying to determine if I can figure out her code? I decided to check out her page to see what she has to say...
“
WUZ GOOD THIS CRYSTAL WHITE WATS UP MYSPACE IM 15YEARS OLD I ATTEND SCEP IM DARK SKIN AND SEXY WITH A BIG BOTTY THEY MRS. NEW BOTTY OK DONT HATE I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE A SHUT OUT TO CHRISTEN AND ALL THE PEOPLE OUT THE PARK R.I.P RICEHEAD OK IM 5"0 AND IF I NIGGA WANNA THUMP LETS GET THEN FOR REAL OK HATEZ AND BITCHES SO GET MY DICK BITCHES MAYBE ONE DAY YOUR MAN WANT TO HOLLA AT ME YOOO ILL BE 15 ON MY B-DAY 11/10/06 “
I dont even have to comment on this. She speaks for herself. I only want to know why she read my well written profile and thought that I, display name “Renaissance Man”, would ever go for her 15 yr old self...
Still, this girl was not nearly as bad as her Russian peer. Now I since I get a lot of messages on myspace, I have a very quick way of going about them. I will click on the profile of the sender first, and if they are underage or gay or whatever then I almost instantly disregard whatever they have to say. It sucks for this 16 year old Russian girl who seemed to want a chance, badly:
See how young see looks? Here’s the message she sent me:
hi !
Body: im sasha . im from russia . i play tennis for 9 years and i wanna go to usa to the university !!!!! u r very cute . how r u ??? do u wanna chat ?
Well as you can tell she is very excited!!!!! Anyways I do my usual routine and check the age and of course shes 16 so obviously I DONT WANT TO CHAT so I dont respond. Of course I get this message later that day:
hey !
wuts up ??
Not a bad message right? The content isnt really important what’s important here is that she sent me another message unprompted. Oh well, I laughed a little and let it go.
hey !
Body: hey !!! how r u ?? what r u doing ?? how was ur day ???
Ignore the fact that my day is none of her young business and her overuse of “!!!!” and “???” and focus on the fact that I still havent responded and she is now writing me asking me questions like we know each other or something. My day is none of ur bidness little lady! SO now Im like pllleeaaassseee dont let my “New Messages” have anything to do with her...pleeaaassseee. My pleads were a failure...
hi !
Body: how r u ? how was ur day ?? why u dont u answer ??
-----------------------------------
hi!
Body: pliz answer !!!!!!
how r u ??
do u have msn ??
-----------------------------------
No Subject
Body: hi ! i wanna do to the bercley . wut i need to do ???
-----------------------------------
hi ! whats up ?? how r u ??
give me ur URL ??
-----------------------------------
hey !
Body: whats up ?? give me ur website !!!!pliz
ur so cute !!!
This girl is so ridiculous I might a message from her today. She is the exact reason why I DONT have my website listed on my myspace page because she would go on there and see how bad Im making fun of her. Maybe if she wasnt CRAZY it wouldnt be such an issue.. Watch, Ill end up playing over seas and she’ll find me and stalk me for years...I can see it now...
Some people just love to keep sending messages despite a lack of return message from me. It only gets worse when it’s a man!
He actually just sent me another message today...But Ill start from the top:
THANKS NIGGA FOR THE ADD WHATS GOOD WITH YOU I HAVE SOME PICS YOU CAN SEE
Huh? You have some pics I can see? Why would I wanna see your pics? Im a grown man...ur a grown man...what would lend you to think I wanna see your pics? Well that wasnt the end of it:
WHATS GOOD NIGGA WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN
WHATS GOOD NOGGA
JUST SHOWING SOME LOVE
WHATS GOOD NIGGA
Wow, 3 messages son? What do I do for fun? Youre really taking this thing too far especially considering I HAVENT RESPONDED TO ANY OF YOUR NONSENSE! I thought he was done...but nope, I get a “Request to Approve Image Comment” thing. I wonder what comment is waiting for me? Its from him again. He has commented on the photo of me with my shirt off:
Nice Pic
You just dont make comments like that homie! Mann. I KNOW it’s a nice pic...I mean its me...with my shirt off...it’s awesome. I mean Im not big, but Ive got some pretty good definition...anyways the point is I dont NEED HIM TELLING ME THAT
I swear this guy must have told his boyfriend about me or something cause now I have this guy
sending me stuff.
How rude would I be?
Body: 1. If I told you that the picture where you are a giant is like a fantasy one!
2. If I ask what's your shoe size?
WOW GUY! Youd actually be really really ridiculously rude! In case you dont know what picture hes referring to, Ill show you:
SO when he says this is a fantasy to him I have to cringe in disgust. Its not even meant to be fantasy to women its simply a funny pic from Italy. Now this guy has gone and tarnished my good name over it! And then he wants to ask me my shoe size? TRIPPPPPPPIN! Take another look at this fantasy man...
Of course thats you. Of course.
Ill end this little edition of myspace messages with probably the craziest girl of all time. Now I wish I could show you everything that was involved in this ordeal but I cant because I accidentally deleted the over 50 instant messages she sent me. Thats right 50! As you may or may not know, I list my screen name on my myspace. I suppose I should stop by now, but Im too lazy. Anyways this girl got my screen name and proceeded to send me a message. i dont remember what I said because, like I said, I deleted the messages. Well let me tell you how things usually go. I get a random instant message, I say “who is this?” They usually answer “you dont know me but I saw you on mysapce.” Then I say “What’s your page URL?” Then they give it to me, I check out their page and if they are just blatantly ugly, I dont say another word. Hahahah it’s a little rude but I just dont care. Anyways, when it came time to check this girls profile, I immediately stopped talking:
Its the girl on the right. The point is, I didnt say another word. This girl proceeded to continue to IM me for HOURS. I didnt respond once. I left the room and came back and there were still more and more messages. “please talk to me” “what are you doing?” “If you dont wanna talk just tell me”, but I refused to answer any of them. Not one. I finally log onto my myspace and boom there she is with this message:
hey baby
you don't want to talk to me on aim? im hurt.
holla back baby!
chelsea
This message is after two hours of unreturned IMs!
this is why YOUR hot, this is y YOUR hot! mmmmmm hottie!
This is why your insane!
i love ur smile!
So this is girl is just an all around trip then. If I had all the messages it would help a lot for effect. Just know that shes out there, somewhere, still being crazy.
Before I go I’ll leave you with a little treat.
hey peanut remember me haha
The girl who sent this was on part 3. If you dont remember, shes the one whos friend has fungus on her toe:
She sent me this:
you should get me tickets to ur next game!?!?!?!
First of all, she lives in like Ohio or something so how in the world would I give her tickets? Secondly, is this a question or a statement? And why the heck is she so damn excited? Well I guess it only makes sense seeing how she hasn’t even had 10th grade english yet. This was on her profile:
“Hey people my name is Sam im a Sophmore at hillsboro high school. I did cheerleading but i hated it and i will never do it again. Mikee aguliar and aly tarpley are my bwest friends. And Gordo is my body guard so dont try to mess with me!!”
She wants tickets and here’s what I know about her: She hates cheerleading, she is 14 or 15, and she has people who she refers to as “bwest” friends. No tickets for u lil bebe...
The fact of the matter is it could always get worse...like this girl:
Its the girl on the right... 15 years old. Her display name, literally is “WHY U HATE ME BECAUSE MAN WIFE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” me: What the heck does that mean? The only thing I hated right off the bat was her damn display name. Heres what she sent me:
hay
Body: hay wats poppin
Hayy? Nothins poppin cuz ur 10 years too young and 100 lbs too heavy lil bebe.
no
Body: u don't me but hay
I dont you but hay. I...dont you.... but hay. That’s interesting. I think I should send her a message back..It would read “Normally do meet frut.” I dont even know what that means but I bet she could gather some meaning from it. Notice the subject of the message..”no”. Was that supposed to be in between “dont” and “me”? Is she actually smarter than what Im giving her credit for and she is trying to determine if I can figure out her code? I decided to check out her page to see what she has to say...
“
WUZ GOOD THIS CRYSTAL WHITE WATS UP MYSPACE IM 15YEARS OLD I ATTEND SCEP IM DARK SKIN AND SEXY WITH A BIG BOTTY THEY MRS. NEW BOTTY OK DONT HATE I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE A SHUT OUT TO CHRISTEN AND ALL THE PEOPLE OUT THE PARK R.I.P RICEHEAD OK IM 5"0 AND IF I NIGGA WANNA THUMP LETS GET THEN FOR REAL OK HATEZ AND BITCHES SO GET MY DICK BITCHES MAYBE ONE DAY YOUR MAN WANT TO HOLLA AT ME YOOO ILL BE 15 ON MY B-DAY 11/10/06 “
I dont even have to comment on this. She speaks for herself. I only want to know why she read my well written profile and thought that I, display name “Renaissance Man”, would ever go for her 15 yr old self...
Still, this girl was not nearly as bad as her Russian peer. Now I since I get a lot of messages on myspace, I have a very quick way of going about them. I will click on the profile of the sender first, and if they are underage or gay or whatever then I almost instantly disregard whatever they have to say. It sucks for this 16 year old Russian girl who seemed to want a chance, badly:
See how young see looks? Here’s the message she sent me:
hi !
Body: im sasha . im from russia . i play tennis for 9 years and i wanna go to usa to the university !!!!! u r very cute . how r u ??? do u wanna chat ?
Well as you can tell she is very excited!!!!! Anyways I do my usual routine and check the age and of course shes 16 so obviously I DONT WANT TO CHAT so I dont respond. Of course I get this message later that day:
hey !
wuts up ??
Not a bad message right? The content isnt really important what’s important here is that she sent me another message unprompted. Oh well, I laughed a little and let it go.
hey !
Body: hey !!! how r u ?? what r u doing ?? how was ur day ???
Ignore the fact that my day is none of her young business and her overuse of “!!!!” and “???” and focus on the fact that I still havent responded and she is now writing me asking me questions like we know each other or something. My day is none of ur bidness little lady! SO now Im like pllleeaaassseee dont let my “New Messages” have anything to do with her...pleeaaassseee. My pleads were a failure...
hi !
Body: how r u ? how was ur day ?? why u dont u answer ??
-----------------------------------
hi!
Body: pliz answer !!!!!!
how r u ??
do u have msn ??
-----------------------------------
No Subject
Body: hi ! i wanna do to the bercley . wut i need to do ???
-----------------------------------
hi ! whats up ?? how r u ??
give me ur URL ??
-----------------------------------
hey !
Body: whats up ?? give me ur website !!!!pliz
ur so cute !!!
This girl is so ridiculous I might a message from her today. She is the exact reason why I DONT have my website listed on my myspace page because she would go on there and see how bad Im making fun of her. Maybe if she wasnt CRAZY it wouldnt be such an issue.. Watch, Ill end up playing over seas and she’ll find me and stalk me for years...I can see it now...
Some people just love to keep sending messages despite a lack of return message from me. It only gets worse when it’s a man!
He actually just sent me another message today...But Ill start from the top:
THANKS NIGGA FOR THE ADD WHATS GOOD WITH YOU I HAVE SOME PICS YOU CAN SEE
Huh? You have some pics I can see? Why would I wanna see your pics? Im a grown man...ur a grown man...what would lend you to think I wanna see your pics? Well that wasnt the end of it:
WHATS GOOD NIGGA WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN
WHATS GOOD NOGGA
JUST SHOWING SOME LOVE
WHATS GOOD NIGGA
Wow, 3 messages son? What do I do for fun? Youre really taking this thing too far especially considering I HAVENT RESPONDED TO ANY OF YOUR NONSENSE! I thought he was done...but nope, I get a “Request to Approve Image Comment” thing. I wonder what comment is waiting for me? Its from him again. He has commented on the photo of me with my shirt off:
Nice Pic
You just dont make comments like that homie! Mann. I KNOW it’s a nice pic...I mean its me...with my shirt off...it’s awesome. I mean Im not big, but Ive got some pretty good definition...anyways the point is I dont NEED HIM TELLING ME THAT
I swear this guy must have told his boyfriend about me or something cause now I have this guy
sending me stuff.
How rude would I be?
Body: 1. If I told you that the picture where you are a giant is like a fantasy one!
2. If I ask what's your shoe size?
WOW GUY! Youd actually be really really ridiculously rude! In case you dont know what picture hes referring to, Ill show you:
SO when he says this is a fantasy to him I have to cringe in disgust. Its not even meant to be fantasy to women its simply a funny pic from Italy. Now this guy has gone and tarnished my good name over it! And then he wants to ask me my shoe size? TRIPPPPPPPIN! Take another look at this fantasy man...
Of course thats you. Of course.
Ill end this little edition of myspace messages with probably the craziest girl of all time. Now I wish I could show you everything that was involved in this ordeal but I cant because I accidentally deleted the over 50 instant messages she sent me. Thats right 50! As you may or may not know, I list my screen name on my myspace. I suppose I should stop by now, but Im too lazy. Anyways this girl got my screen name and proceeded to send me a message. i dont remember what I said because, like I said, I deleted the messages. Well let me tell you how things usually go. I get a random instant message, I say “who is this?” They usually answer “you dont know me but I saw you on mysapce.” Then I say “What’s your page URL?” Then they give it to me, I check out their page and if they are just blatantly ugly, I dont say another word. Hahahah it’s a little rude but I just dont care. Anyways, when it came time to check this girls profile, I immediately stopped talking:
Its the girl on the right. The point is, I didnt say another word. This girl proceeded to continue to IM me for HOURS. I didnt respond once. I left the room and came back and there were still more and more messages. “please talk to me” “what are you doing?” “If you dont wanna talk just tell me”, but I refused to answer any of them. Not one. I finally log onto my myspace and boom there she is with this message:
hey baby
you don't want to talk to me on aim? im hurt.
holla back baby!
chelsea
This message is after two hours of unreturned IMs!
this is why YOUR hot, this is y YOUR hot! mmmmmm hottie!
This is why your insane!
i love ur smile!
So this is girl is just an all around trip then. If I had all the messages it would help a lot for effect. Just know that shes out there, somewhere, still being crazy.
Before I go I’ll leave you with a little treat.
hey peanut remember me haha
The girl who sent this was on part 3. If you dont remember, shes the one whos friend has fungus on her toe:
