BTGOM: July
July/31/2008 11:06 AM Filed in: BTGOM
So I have recieved yet another self nomination for BTGOM. She actually sent messages to both my MySpace and Facebook, which under different circumstances, might qualify her for a slot in “Funny MySpace Messages” (look for a new installment soon). Instead, I was intorduced to a smart, motivated, woman with a high degree of boom-tho-ness and an even higher degree of proactivity. Oh yea, and she’s easy on the eyes. Verrry easy.
I’ll just tell you what she told me and you can read why I felt comfortable naming her BTGOM: July:
“Hey Rod,
I'm sure you get flooded with all kinds of crazy messages (actually, I know you do because I'm a loyal reader of your hilarious blog), but I figured I'd take a shot in the dark and contact you.
My name is Jordan, I'm 21, I go to Syracuse University, I like long walks on the beach and bubble baths, yadda yadda yadda... Point of this message: I am an intern with MTV News this summer (the hip hop department), and it's been the most incredible experience ever. I've met some pretty amazing people, and gained some amazing insight to this crazy industry that I hope to one day enter.
ANYWAYS... There's an opportunity that's been presented to all interns to promote this year's VMA's. The grand prize is to report live from the red carpet. Clearly I want to be on that damn carpet, haha. They want us to come up with creative and fun ways to promote the VMA's, and I know you're extremely creative and fun (based on what I've seen/read).
I guess I'm nominating myself for Boom Girl?! I'm going to start a YouTube channel and release exclusive info about the VMA's on them, and the more hits the better. If in any way you could lend your services and provide your fans access to me, I would be forever grateful! Hell, if I end up on that red carpet, I'll take you as my date! I realize how busy you are, so no hard feelings if you can't do anything, but it was worth a try, right?
Anyways, thanks for being so funny, love your blog and have gotten all my friends addicted now too. :)
With all the boom tho i can muster,
Jordan
Here are some of my articles, just so you know I'm for real :)
http://newsroom.mtv.com/20
08/06/23/ice-t-vs-soulja-b
oy-tellem-video-blog-beef-
heats-up-kanye-weighs-in/
http://newsroom.mtv.com/20
08/06/25/ne-yo-says-his-a-
milli-freestyle-is-not-aim
ed-at-chris-brown/
http://www.mtv.com/news/ar
ticles/1590795/20080711/yu
ng_berg.jhtml?rsspartner=r
ssColdFusion
“
SO at the end of the day, I can help a hot girl help herself on her way to her goals. If only there was a way she could get me a contract, then we’d truly be even. Although, if she does win the right to host the VMA’s, and she actually did ttake me as her date, it would be the biggest victory that Boom Tho has had to this point. Let’s make it happen!
So, withouy further adieu, I introduce the BTGOM for July 2008, Jordan Upmalis:
Go ahead and google her, add her on facebook, or myspace, do whatever it takes to get her, ahem, and me, to the VMA’s! Boom!
I’ll just tell you what she told me and you can read why I felt comfortable naming her BTGOM: July:
“Hey Rod,
I'm sure you get flooded with all kinds of crazy messages (actually, I know you do because I'm a loyal reader of your hilarious blog), but I figured I'd take a shot in the dark and contact you.
My name is Jordan, I'm 21, I go to Syracuse University, I like long walks on the beach and bubble baths, yadda yadda yadda... Point of this message: I am an intern with MTV News this summer (the hip hop department), and it's been the most incredible experience ever. I've met some pretty amazing people, and gained some amazing insight to this crazy industry that I hope to one day enter.
ANYWAYS... There's an opportunity that's been presented to all interns to promote this year's VMA's. The grand prize is to report live from the red carpet. Clearly I want to be on that damn carpet, haha. They want us to come up with creative and fun ways to promote the VMA's, and I know you're extremely creative and fun (based on what I've seen/read).
I guess I'm nominating myself for Boom Girl?! I'm going to start a YouTube channel and release exclusive info about the VMA's on them, and the more hits the better. If in any way you could lend your services and provide your fans access to me, I would be forever grateful! Hell, if I end up on that red carpet, I'll take you as my date! I realize how busy you are, so no hard feelings if you can't do anything, but it was worth a try, right?
Anyways, thanks for being so funny, love your blog and have gotten all my friends addicted now too. :)
With all the boom tho i can muster,
Jordan
Here are some of my articles, just so you know I'm for real :)
http://newsroom.mtv.com/20
08/06/23/ice-t-vs-soulja-b
oy-tellem-video-blog-beef-
heats-up-kanye-weighs-in/
http://newsroom.mtv.com/20
08/06/25/ne-yo-says-his-a-
milli-freestyle-is-not-aim
ed-at-chris-brown/
http://www.mtv.com/news/ar
ticles/1590795/20080711/yu
ng_berg.jhtml?rsspartner=r
ssColdFusion
“
SO at the end of the day, I can help a hot girl help herself on her way to her goals. If only there was a way she could get me a contract, then we’d truly be even. Although, if she does win the right to host the VMA’s, and she actually did ttake me as her date, it would be the biggest victory that Boom Tho has had to this point. Let’s make it happen!
So, withouy further adieu, I introduce the BTGOM for July 2008, Jordan Upmalis:
Go ahead and google her, add her on facebook, or myspace, do whatever it takes to get her, ahem, and me, to the VMA’s! Boom!
|
The Dance Off
July/24/2008 09:50 AM Filed in: Dance Off
A few weeks back, my boy Clayton, a couple of his co-workers and I wer having dinner in SF. Clayton works for a start-up video sharing website called “Howcast.com.” Anyway, I guess that being the only black guy there instantly shufles him to the top of most socially cool catagories.
I’m not sure how it came up, but one of his co-workers was talking about how great Clayton is at dancing. They all go out sometimes and Clayton hold down the dance floor while they all sit around and watch him work his moves. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when they were praising him as an honorable mention Jabawakee.
“Clay’s not a bad dancer,” I told them, “but he’s not exactly as tight as you’re making him sound.”
“When we go out, he has all the moves,” they informed me.
Clay was sitting there the whole time. You could tell he was ready to say something, but he was just acknowledging their words so far.
“In your group he may be at the top of the list, but in my group he’s like the third best,” I said.
That’s when he snapped. Clay made it a point to say that he was clearly the best in the group. I told him that he was for sure not better than JGant (I took myself out of it, but clearly I’m better too). I also told him that his “break-off-a-breezy” abilities are top notch, but his solo moves are what place him at #3. Clay took real offense to that.
We spent the next hour arguing, with his co-workers mocking input, over where he fell in the ranks of our group. Clay feels that I’m too tall to look right when dancing. He feels that JGant only has one real move, and is not a good break-off artist.
So, that night he just started dancing. I busted out the camera and I realized what was about to transpire. We now have a multi-person, two round, you-decided-the-winner, dance off. Each week I’ll post the video of a contestant or two and at the end of 4 weeks, Ill take a vote to crown the dance off champion. As of right now, the contestants are Clay, JGant, Aubrey (be prepared to die laughing), and myself.
Let’s kick it off right with Clayty Clays dance off video:
Untitled from Rod Benson on Vimeo.
I’m not sure how it came up, but one of his co-workers was talking about how great Clayton is at dancing. They all go out sometimes and Clayton hold down the dance floor while they all sit around and watch him work his moves. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when they were praising him as an honorable mention Jabawakee.
“Clay’s not a bad dancer,” I told them, “but he’s not exactly as tight as you’re making him sound.”
“When we go out, he has all the moves,” they informed me.
Clay was sitting there the whole time. You could tell he was ready to say something, but he was just acknowledging their words so far.
“In your group he may be at the top of the list, but in my group he’s like the third best,” I said.
That’s when he snapped. Clay made it a point to say that he was clearly the best in the group. I told him that he was for sure not better than JGant (I took myself out of it, but clearly I’m better too). I also told him that his “break-off-a-breezy” abilities are top notch, but his solo moves are what place him at #3. Clay took real offense to that.
We spent the next hour arguing, with his co-workers mocking input, over where he fell in the ranks of our group. Clay feels that I’m too tall to look right when dancing. He feels that JGant only has one real move, and is not a good break-off artist.
So, that night he just started dancing. I busted out the camera and I realized what was about to transpire. We now have a multi-person, two round, you-decided-the-winner, dance off. Each week I’ll post the video of a contestant or two and at the end of 4 weeks, Ill take a vote to crown the dance off champion. As of right now, the contestants are Clay, JGant, Aubrey (be prepared to die laughing), and myself.
Let’s kick it off right with Clayty Clays dance off video:
Untitled from Rod Benson on Vimeo.
How to Sneak Into Body English / Sugar Shane's My Boy!
July/20/2008 07:38 PM Filed in: Random
This story happened over Memorial Day weekend, but I was too busy to write about it before heading to the Summer League. Anyway, I definitely feel that it’s worth reading. In a way, it’s a story, but in another way, it’s a very simple way to start your night outside the Hard Rock hotel in Vegas and end your night inside of Body English nightclub at the Hard Rock. Here goes:
We started out our night in our pimp ass presidential suite at Caesar’s Palace. While we were decided where to go, I got an E-Mail from Dj Dig Dug alerting me that Body English was the spot to be that night.
As you can see, we are just about ready to make our moves for the night. From left to right it’s Cedric, Lil Jason, JGant, Me, and Ramy. The five of us had no idea what was in store for us, but with Dig Dug’s guidance, we were sure to have a lot of fun.
When we got over to the Hard Rock hotel, the lines were out of control. There must have been four different lines, all with a different meaning and all of those except for one led to another inner waiting area. Even with Dig Dug’s help, we were going to be in a world of hurt.
Thing about it was that Dig Dug told me a name to ask for and everywhere I tried to ask, I was told to talk to somebody else. I finally just chose the shortest line and cut to the front. The guy there sent me to the waiting area to ask for the guy I was looking for with the hook-up. The problem with this manuevar was that Ramy had dissappeared so now our 5 had become 4. Even more problematic was the fact that they were charging $100 per person to get in and once the bouncer decided to let us in, we would either have to find that connect quickly, or pay the cover.
Lil Jason, JGant and I were finally at the velvet rope. Any second now it would all work out or come to a depressing $100 end. Cedric was about 10 feet back talking to some girls. All of a sudden, Sugar Shane Mosely popped up behind JGant and me. The guy working the rope couldn’t see him though becuase we are over a foot taller than Shane. Already frustrated with the situation, we conceded that Sugar Shane was about to walk right in and we would be stuck there. We moved out of the way and told the bouncer that Sugar Shane was right there. He quickly grabbed Shane and asked him who he was with. Shane pointed to his crew, then turned back and pointed at Jgant and me and told the bouncer that we were with him too. Jgant quickly grabbed lil Jason and brought him with us.
The bouncer walked us through the kitchen, up some back stairs, and right up to the VIP section. The moment was filled with a high degree of Boom-Tho-Ness. When I first got to the VIP table, I noticed that there was a disposable camera, which I instantly commandeered. JGant and I were ready to rock and roll and get in there like swimwear.
Cedric, who was busy gaming up some girls, never caught up with us and was basically left outside. Ramy was still MIA and nobody knew what had happened to him. It didn’t matter though. We were inside gettin loose off that Goose courtesy of Sugar Shane Mosely.
What you see about is me, Shane, Lil Jason and JGant in the VIP. We were holdin it down in there for about 20-30 minutes when all of a sudden, Ramy shows up out of Nowhere:
I was so confused when Ramy showed up. We hadn’t seen the kid in an hour and we just figured he was locked out with Cedric. Ramy informed us that he had been inside of the club partying for an hour. JGant and I didn’t quite understand how that could be. The lines were super long and ridiculous. There was no way for him to get in, then find us up at the upper level VIP. It just didnt make sense. Ramy then began to tell us a story that we just couldn’t believe. If you want to sneak your way into Body English, now is the time to listen up. I’ll rewind back to when we first showed up at the Hard Rock hotel.
So Ramy, being very intoxicated and impatient, decided that he was ready to party right when we got there. Also, he had a couple of his boys meet him and I told him that it would be hard enough to get in with 5 men, let alone 7. After realizing how long the line was, he doubled back around to a place he hadn’t been since he was 16 years old.
Ramy now stood outside the Hard Rock hotel staring at the door he had discovered back when he was an underage kid trying to live up his Vegas experience. There are many doors outside of the Hard Rock hotel, but if you look, like he did that night, you’ll see a double glass door with two sets of white doors to the left of them. One is a single white door and the other is a double white door. Ramy confidently walked through the single white door, which led down a small flight of stairs and right into thr middle of the dance floor. JGant and I nearly fell over when he reached this point in his story.
Ramy then, forgetting that he had left his other two friends outside, went back up the stairs and back out the door. As soon as he cracked the secret door, his two homies were waiting for him outside and followed Ramy back in. They got to the bottom of the stairs and begin to celebrate by jumping around wildly. Right then, a security guard spots them and walks up to Ramy and says “You guys got in? Great. Now get the f*** out.”
Ramy and his boys were forced back out the way they came. At that point, they simply waited a couple minutes outside, then walked right back in through the door. This time, instead of celebrating, they came right up to the VIP and spotted JGant and me.
As you can see, the night ended very well for everyone... except Cedric. When I got back to my hotel room, Cedric was waiting there, alone. He was not happy about the fact that we all partied with Sugar Shane. His bad. He should have just snuck it!
We started out our night in our pimp ass presidential suite at Caesar’s Palace. While we were decided where to go, I got an E-Mail from Dj Dig Dug alerting me that Body English was the spot to be that night.
As you can see, we are just about ready to make our moves for the night. From left to right it’s Cedric, Lil Jason, JGant, Me, and Ramy. The five of us had no idea what was in store for us, but with Dig Dug’s guidance, we were sure to have a lot of fun.
When we got over to the Hard Rock hotel, the lines were out of control. There must have been four different lines, all with a different meaning and all of those except for one led to another inner waiting area. Even with Dig Dug’s help, we were going to be in a world of hurt.
Thing about it was that Dig Dug told me a name to ask for and everywhere I tried to ask, I was told to talk to somebody else. I finally just chose the shortest line and cut to the front. The guy there sent me to the waiting area to ask for the guy I was looking for with the hook-up. The problem with this manuevar was that Ramy had dissappeared so now our 5 had become 4. Even more problematic was the fact that they were charging $100 per person to get in and once the bouncer decided to let us in, we would either have to find that connect quickly, or pay the cover.
Lil Jason, JGant and I were finally at the velvet rope. Any second now it would all work out or come to a depressing $100 end. Cedric was about 10 feet back talking to some girls. All of a sudden, Sugar Shane Mosely popped up behind JGant and me. The guy working the rope couldn’t see him though becuase we are over a foot taller than Shane. Already frustrated with the situation, we conceded that Sugar Shane was about to walk right in and we would be stuck there. We moved out of the way and told the bouncer that Sugar Shane was right there. He quickly grabbed Shane and asked him who he was with. Shane pointed to his crew, then turned back and pointed at Jgant and me and told the bouncer that we were with him too. Jgant quickly grabbed lil Jason and brought him with us.
The bouncer walked us through the kitchen, up some back stairs, and right up to the VIP section. The moment was filled with a high degree of Boom-Tho-Ness. When I first got to the VIP table, I noticed that there was a disposable camera, which I instantly commandeered. JGant and I were ready to rock and roll and get in there like swimwear.
Cedric, who was busy gaming up some girls, never caught up with us and was basically left outside. Ramy was still MIA and nobody knew what had happened to him. It didn’t matter though. We were inside gettin loose off that Goose courtesy of Sugar Shane Mosely.
What you see about is me, Shane, Lil Jason and JGant in the VIP. We were holdin it down in there for about 20-30 minutes when all of a sudden, Ramy shows up out of Nowhere:
I was so confused when Ramy showed up. We hadn’t seen the kid in an hour and we just figured he was locked out with Cedric. Ramy informed us that he had been inside of the club partying for an hour. JGant and I didn’t quite understand how that could be. The lines were super long and ridiculous. There was no way for him to get in, then find us up at the upper level VIP. It just didnt make sense. Ramy then began to tell us a story that we just couldn’t believe. If you want to sneak your way into Body English, now is the time to listen up. I’ll rewind back to when we first showed up at the Hard Rock hotel.
So Ramy, being very intoxicated and impatient, decided that he was ready to party right when we got there. Also, he had a couple of his boys meet him and I told him that it would be hard enough to get in with 5 men, let alone 7. After realizing how long the line was, he doubled back around to a place he hadn’t been since he was 16 years old.
Ramy now stood outside the Hard Rock hotel staring at the door he had discovered back when he was an underage kid trying to live up his Vegas experience. There are many doors outside of the Hard Rock hotel, but if you look, like he did that night, you’ll see a double glass door with two sets of white doors to the left of them. One is a single white door and the other is a double white door. Ramy confidently walked through the single white door, which led down a small flight of stairs and right into thr middle of the dance floor. JGant and I nearly fell over when he reached this point in his story.
Ramy then, forgetting that he had left his other two friends outside, went back up the stairs and back out the door. As soon as he cracked the secret door, his two homies were waiting for him outside and followed Ramy back in. They got to the bottom of the stairs and begin to celebrate by jumping around wildly. Right then, a security guard spots them and walks up to Ramy and says “You guys got in? Great. Now get the f*** out.”
Ramy and his boys were forced back out the way they came. At that point, they simply waited a couple minutes outside, then walked right back in through the door. This time, instead of celebrating, they came right up to the VIP and spotted JGant and me.
As you can see, the night ended very well for everyone... except Cedric. When I got back to my hotel room, Cedric was waiting there, alone. He was not happy about the fact that we all partied with Sugar Shane. His bad. He should have just snuck it!
You Just Got JGanted!
July/06/2008 10:03 PM Filed in: Random
The second day of Memorial Day weekend, JGant, Kim, Ced and I were walking down the strip, when somebody thought it’d be a good idea to go into some bootleg casino and play the slots. I guess one of my homies had garnered a ticket that gave them $50 in free slot play, so thats what they did. It was obviously a set-up. A winner wasn’t a winner unless the jackpot was hit, which, of course, was never going to happen.
Well, while we were in this place, JGant and I walked around a bit because he wanted to play blackjack or something. After about a quarter-lap around the tables, someone yelled out to me.
“Rod Benson! Boom Tho!”
I turned around and there were some guys who looked pretty excited to be part of the movement. Soon after they saw me, they saw JGant.
“JGant! JGant! What’s up?!”
You have to understand that JGant usually doesn’t get the recognition. He gets some, but when he does, he ALWAYS feels big time when it happens. He makes a face that tells you that his heart and brain have just given each other a high five.
On this day, he quickly made the same face. He started smiling too as we started walking over to talk to the guys who were mad-boom-tho. The guys made it clear that they read TMRB and knew all the stories. They also made it clear that they knew JGant. I explained to them that he loves the recognition, which I think he also loved.
The who event took a turn when they explained to JGant why his name rings bells in their circle. They explained to us that their favorite entry on TMRB was “Don’t Make Me Punch You in the Balls... Again”. If you haven’t read that yet, do it now before you continue. It’s very important.
These guys then proceeded to say that they, sometimes sock eachother in the balls just to make each other mad or as a prank. They said that right after they sock their victim in the balls, they yell out “YOU JUST GOT JGANTED!” or “I JGANTED HIM!”
JGants brain and heart went from high-fiving, to collaborating on a way to erase these guys from the face of the earth. I’ve never seen him go from so happy to so annoyed in a second. These guys then proceeded to demonstrate the whole ball-punching motion while yelling out “I JGanted him!” It was real tough on JGant. I was ROLLING though. No way was this for real. People out there are really “JGanting” each other with my blog in mind? I LOVE it. I absolutely love it.
We took pictures with the guys (JGant wasn’t happy about the photo’s either) while they had their fists balled up in an “I’m about to ‘JGant’ you” fashion. Classic. I guess a new era has officially been ushered in: the “JGant him” era.
Well, while we were in this place, JGant and I walked around a bit because he wanted to play blackjack or something. After about a quarter-lap around the tables, someone yelled out to me.
“Rod Benson! Boom Tho!”
I turned around and there were some guys who looked pretty excited to be part of the movement. Soon after they saw me, they saw JGant.
“JGant! JGant! What’s up?!”
You have to understand that JGant usually doesn’t get the recognition. He gets some, but when he does, he ALWAYS feels big time when it happens. He makes a face that tells you that his heart and brain have just given each other a high five.
On this day, he quickly made the same face. He started smiling too as we started walking over to talk to the guys who were mad-boom-tho. The guys made it clear that they read TMRB and knew all the stories. They also made it clear that they knew JGant. I explained to them that he loves the recognition, which I think he also loved.
The who event took a turn when they explained to JGant why his name rings bells in their circle. They explained to us that their favorite entry on TMRB was “Don’t Make Me Punch You in the Balls... Again”. If you haven’t read that yet, do it now before you continue. It’s very important.
These guys then proceeded to say that they, sometimes sock eachother in the balls just to make each other mad or as a prank. They said that right after they sock their victim in the balls, they yell out “YOU JUST GOT JGANTED!” or “I JGANTED HIM!”
JGants brain and heart went from high-fiving, to collaborating on a way to erase these guys from the face of the earth. I’ve never seen him go from so happy to so annoyed in a second. These guys then proceeded to demonstrate the whole ball-punching motion while yelling out “I JGanted him!” It was real tough on JGant. I was ROLLING though. No way was this for real. People out there are really “JGanting” each other with my blog in mind? I LOVE it. I absolutely love it.
We took pictures with the guys (JGant wasn’t happy about the photo’s either) while they had their fists balled up in an “I’m about to ‘JGant’ you” fashion. Classic. I guess a new era has officially been ushered in: the “JGant him” era.
The Ipod Game?
July/04/2008 01:39 PM Filed in: Random
Memorial weekend was coming to an end and it seemed like we hadn’t really enjoyed our pool at Caesars Palace quite the way we should. On Memorial Day Monday we decided this should change. JGant, Ramy, and I headed to the elevator to go down to the pool. When we stepped on, there were three pretty good looking women on there too. We talked for a second, then parted ways when the elevator reached the lobby.
We dropped our bags off at the front desk and headed over to the pool. After searching for 3 chairs for what seemed like ages, we finally found our resting place in a shaded area of the pool deck and sat down. 20 minutes later, those same girls from the elevator came walking out of the pool in their swimsuits and sat in their chairs, which just so happened to be 15 feet from us, facing us.
I’m pretty sure that most girls look better in swimwear (see why I’m always trynna get in there?), and they were no different. They went from good to great just that quickly.
So now we are sitting in our chairs with our sunglasses on and they are in sitting in their chairs, sunglasses on, and we are all pretending like we arent looking at each other, which is impossible because our chairs are 15 feet away and facing towards one another. It was half-awkward, half-awesome. My glasses don’t allow you to see my eyes, so I made it a point to look straight ahead, but check them out at the same time.
Finally, JGant went to go grab something from his bag. I was going to ask him to grab my book so I could read, but I realized that that was foolish. I instead told him to grab my portable ipod speakers and my ipod. It was time to get this party started.
When he came back, I started playing music at max volume. The speakers are loud, but not THAT loud, so the girls could hear the song well enough, but not great. I played everything from Usher to Journey, from Bob Sinclair to Mickey Avalon. It wasn’t long before they all bought in. They were singing my songs amongst themselves like we were in a club. Still, the music hadn’t brought us together, which was my ultimate goal.
Ramy had just come out of the pool when I asked him to do me a favor. I told him that I was gonna play a song and that he should walk the ipod dock over to the girls and set it down right in front of them. He was reluctant at first, but after some more convincing, I started a song and he walked the dock over to the girls. He sat it down at the feet of the hottest girl and said “this is from him.”
“Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way”
Oh yea. I definitely sent them “I want it that way” by the Backstreet Boys. They laughed and enjoyed it. After that, the flood gates were open. I walked over and said “I’m sure you’re used to guys sending you drinks. I figured I’d send you a song. A song that shows just how I want it: that way.”
We started talkin w them and ended up riding in their car over to TAO Beach at the Venetian. Once we were there, we got in the pool and had the greatest pool party ever.
We finally parted ways at 9pm that night after a whole day that started with a song. If you’re not enough of a poet to compete in the Poem Game, then try sending a song. Maybe your day will turn out like ours did.
We dropped our bags off at the front desk and headed over to the pool. After searching for 3 chairs for what seemed like ages, we finally found our resting place in a shaded area of the pool deck and sat down. 20 minutes later, those same girls from the elevator came walking out of the pool in their swimsuits and sat in their chairs, which just so happened to be 15 feet from us, facing us.
I’m pretty sure that most girls look better in swimwear (see why I’m always trynna get in there?), and they were no different. They went from good to great just that quickly.
So now we are sitting in our chairs with our sunglasses on and they are in sitting in their chairs, sunglasses on, and we are all pretending like we arent looking at each other, which is impossible because our chairs are 15 feet away and facing towards one another. It was half-awkward, half-awesome. My glasses don’t allow you to see my eyes, so I made it a point to look straight ahead, but check them out at the same time.
Finally, JGant went to go grab something from his bag. I was going to ask him to grab my book so I could read, but I realized that that was foolish. I instead told him to grab my portable ipod speakers and my ipod. It was time to get this party started.
When he came back, I started playing music at max volume. The speakers are loud, but not THAT loud, so the girls could hear the song well enough, but not great. I played everything from Usher to Journey, from Bob Sinclair to Mickey Avalon. It wasn’t long before they all bought in. They were singing my songs amongst themselves like we were in a club. Still, the music hadn’t brought us together, which was my ultimate goal.
Ramy had just come out of the pool when I asked him to do me a favor. I told him that I was gonna play a song and that he should walk the ipod dock over to the girls and set it down right in front of them. He was reluctant at first, but after some more convincing, I started a song and he walked the dock over to the girls. He sat it down at the feet of the hottest girl and said “this is from him.”
“Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way”
Oh yea. I definitely sent them “I want it that way” by the Backstreet Boys. They laughed and enjoyed it. After that, the flood gates were open. I walked over and said “I’m sure you’re used to guys sending you drinks. I figured I’d send you a song. A song that shows just how I want it: that way.”
We started talkin w them and ended up riding in their car over to TAO Beach at the Venetian. Once we were there, we got in the pool and had the greatest pool party ever.
We finally parted ways at 9pm that night after a whole day that started with a song. If you’re not enough of a poet to compete in the Poem Game, then try sending a song. Maybe your day will turn out like ours did.
BTGOM: May (Yes, I know it's July right now)
July/03/2008 10:04 AM Filed in: BTGOM
This was meant to go up long ago, but that doesn’t mean that this month’s BTGOM is any less important than the past winners of the prestigious award. This month is particularly special actually, because I decided to include an honorable mention. It’s also special because both of the following Boom Tho Girls EARNED their spot.
In true pageant form, I’ll first list the honorable mention BTGOM. This girl earned her spot not because she is a model or a celebrity. It wasn’t because people emailed me about her. It wasn’t because she was discovered at a Des Moines, Iowa bar (been to many) like a diamond in the rough. This girl is an honorable mention BTGOM strictly due to the fact that she wanted to be and because she was persistent and witty in her pursuit of the title.
I hold a vote with the other Boom Tho Originators each month to determine the validity of the BTGOM’s and this vote placed her second. I felt that she still had to be mentioned because the people need to know just how she campaigned for her spot. It all started with this email:
“Before I begin my campaign for BTGOTM (what a long acronym), let me say I recognize that I’m not some sexy beltway diva, nor am I a lovable NBC star, nor have I ever been in an ad for deoderant. Your GOTMs so far have been from the upper echelons of sexy-society—the lucky Boom Tho ladies have glamour shots and full Google Image portfolios to match. Some Boom Tho haters might even argue that these ladies are unattainable for a NB(DL)A star like yourself (For the record, I completely disagree—sky’s the limit!)
As your stat sheet has filled, your blog roll expanded and your hit counter skyrocketed like the Tech-Bubble Dow Jones, your audience has grown and changed. We are a diverse bunch who giggle when you clown on fellow NBA bloggers and love the inflection on Boom GOT them Tho! We enjoy both the simple pleasures of MySpace message exposés and the high-brow discussions about Pistol Pete. We have both your TMRB and NBA Experts Blog on our Google Reader RSS feed because we’re incredibly technologically sophisticated.
What I’m trying to say is, I think it’s time the BTGOTM went out to a ‘normal’ reader. However, when I say normal, I mean in the same way that Surf Ninja’s was a ‘normal’ 90’s movie. I am a New York native, now in my third year studying at Harvard. I have red hair and playful freckles. I laugh out loud to your postings in the library while studying for exams, I say Boom got them DOS with decent regularity, and my Boom Tho! Shirt is already in the mail. Just like your blog, I stay simultaneously extremely educated, incredibly comical and super classy.
Boom Tho.
Sarah Sherman”
Who the hell is Sarah Sherman? I began to wonder that to myself, among other things. She got immediate points for mentioning “Surf Ninja’s,” which was a move I would have pulled. Not to mention that Ton Loc was somehow cast in a movie about a family of surfers who know Karate.
I forwarded the email to my other Boom Tho Originators. Here are some of the immediate responses:
“Impressive argument. But this girl has red hair, freckles and with a name like Sarah Sherman is DEFINITELY Jewish. Being a member of the tribe myself, and having seen my fair share of redheaded, freckled Jewish women, I will pay your cover at any club the next time you come out here if she's actually cute. Plus she sounds way to smart to be cute.” -- Alex
“wow this chick is on it pretty tough...(maybe that's what harvard does to you?), but I think its a good idea to have users as the boom tho girl of the month, we've talked about this before.....” -- Clay
Alex was right. Nobody that smart could be attractive, right? Her words were already making her attractive and thus making us all believe that it was too good to be true. I emailed her back asking for pictures. Gotta have pictures for a BTGOM. She sent me this email and the following pictures:
“Rod,
I must extend my deepest apologies. My absence from world wide web contact has been a result of two things. First, crazy school ish has picked up around here and I have been struggling to tread water in a sea of response papers and exams. I've kept my head high, my dixon-ticonderogas (an exceptional pencil) impeccably sharpened and my Macbook on permanent 'charged' status--i'm in the clear now for a few weeks until finals. Second, and more gut-wrenching, Mike Mongtomery?!?? While Braun's firing was reasonable, hiring Benedict Arnold was a bold move that I have yet to come to terms with. Not since Shareef went one-and-done on us have I been this worried about Bears basketball.
As for the photos--i'm here to flood your inbox like it's a flickr account. Here's three shots, each with its own fun and flirty style. While an A-list BTGOTMer would roll with A-list celebs, the more 'average' BTGOTMs out there kick it incredibly C-list (Read: Leilene from Flavor of Love.. Ohhh yeaaah).
I must admit, I was a bit hurt when I saw you opened up the competition to the whole internet via your blogosphere casting call, but I think this one's in the back of the net for me.
Boom got them DOS.
Sarah.”
I couldnt be mad at that. She definitely is cute. If I met her at a Bar, I would make a play. She got my vote to be a BTGOM, but she just couldn’t beat out this months winner. She did send me another email couple weeks ago that I forwarded to the homies as well:
“so i wore my "boom tho shirt" out last night.
the crowds went wild.
i may or may not be the illest chick on campus.”
Alex replied:
“This chick is funny.”
Clay said:
“can we get a pic at least with her wearing the shirt? how bout she spreads the boomthodome to the harvard campus...haven't seen too many orders come down from beantown. “
Now, for THE May BTGOM. She earned her spot as well, but in a different way. I’ve known her for years, and she has always hyped the movement. So much so, that she actually created the very first boom tho shirt:
Yep, that was her creation. Her boom-tho-ness is high, but her accolades are even higher. She was the Gatorade High School Volleyball National Player of the Year, an All American at the University of Arizona, and a current member of USA Volleyball which is currently training for the Beijing Olympics. She just signed a three year deal with Under Armour and has other modeling ventures.
Even being as big time as she is, she still prefers to rock a Boom Tho shirt on the weekends (dresses and heels at night). So here is the May BTGOM, Kimberly Glass:
Oh yea, and she’s 6’2” tall!
Boom.
In true pageant form, I’ll first list the honorable mention BTGOM. This girl earned her spot not because she is a model or a celebrity. It wasn’t because people emailed me about her. It wasn’t because she was discovered at a Des Moines, Iowa bar (been to many) like a diamond in the rough. This girl is an honorable mention BTGOM strictly due to the fact that she wanted to be and because she was persistent and witty in her pursuit of the title.
I hold a vote with the other Boom Tho Originators each month to determine the validity of the BTGOM’s and this vote placed her second. I felt that she still had to be mentioned because the people need to know just how she campaigned for her spot. It all started with this email:
“Before I begin my campaign for BTGOTM (what a long acronym), let me say I recognize that I’m not some sexy beltway diva, nor am I a lovable NBC star, nor have I ever been in an ad for deoderant. Your GOTMs so far have been from the upper echelons of sexy-society—the lucky Boom Tho ladies have glamour shots and full Google Image portfolios to match. Some Boom Tho haters might even argue that these ladies are unattainable for a NB(DL)A star like yourself (For the record, I completely disagree—sky’s the limit!)
As your stat sheet has filled, your blog roll expanded and your hit counter skyrocketed like the Tech-Bubble Dow Jones, your audience has grown and changed. We are a diverse bunch who giggle when you clown on fellow NBA bloggers and love the inflection on Boom GOT them Tho! We enjoy both the simple pleasures of MySpace message exposés and the high-brow discussions about Pistol Pete. We have both your TMRB and NBA Experts Blog on our Google Reader RSS feed because we’re incredibly technologically sophisticated.
What I’m trying to say is, I think it’s time the BTGOTM went out to a ‘normal’ reader. However, when I say normal, I mean in the same way that Surf Ninja’s was a ‘normal’ 90’s movie. I am a New York native, now in my third year studying at Harvard. I have red hair and playful freckles. I laugh out loud to your postings in the library while studying for exams, I say Boom got them DOS with decent regularity, and my Boom Tho! Shirt is already in the mail. Just like your blog, I stay simultaneously extremely educated, incredibly comical and super classy.
Boom Tho.
Sarah Sherman”
Who the hell is Sarah Sherman? I began to wonder that to myself, among other things. She got immediate points for mentioning “Surf Ninja’s,” which was a move I would have pulled. Not to mention that Ton Loc was somehow cast in a movie about a family of surfers who know Karate.
I forwarded the email to my other Boom Tho Originators. Here are some of the immediate responses:
“Impressive argument. But this girl has red hair, freckles and with a name like Sarah Sherman is DEFINITELY Jewish. Being a member of the tribe myself, and having seen my fair share of redheaded, freckled Jewish women, I will pay your cover at any club the next time you come out here if she's actually cute. Plus she sounds way to smart to be cute.” -- Alex
“wow this chick is on it pretty tough...(maybe that's what harvard does to you?), but I think its a good idea to have users as the boom tho girl of the month, we've talked about this before.....” -- Clay
Alex was right. Nobody that smart could be attractive, right? Her words were already making her attractive and thus making us all believe that it was too good to be true. I emailed her back asking for pictures. Gotta have pictures for a BTGOM. She sent me this email and the following pictures:
“Rod,
I must extend my deepest apologies. My absence from world wide web contact has been a result of two things. First, crazy school ish has picked up around here and I have been struggling to tread water in a sea of response papers and exams. I've kept my head high, my dixon-ticonderogas (an exceptional pencil) impeccably sharpened and my Macbook on permanent 'charged' status--i'm in the clear now for a few weeks until finals. Second, and more gut-wrenching, Mike Mongtomery?!?? While Braun's firing was reasonable, hiring Benedict Arnold was a bold move that I have yet to come to terms with. Not since Shareef went one-and-done on us have I been this worried about Bears basketball.
As for the photos--i'm here to flood your inbox like it's a flickr account. Here's three shots, each with its own fun and flirty style. While an A-list BTGOTMer would roll with A-list celebs, the more 'average' BTGOTMs out there kick it incredibly C-list (Read: Leilene from Flavor of Love.. Ohhh yeaaah).
I must admit, I was a bit hurt when I saw you opened up the competition to the whole internet via your blogosphere casting call, but I think this one's in the back of the net for me.
Boom got them DOS.
Sarah.”
I couldnt be mad at that. She definitely is cute. If I met her at a Bar, I would make a play. She got my vote to be a BTGOM, but she just couldn’t beat out this months winner. She did send me another email couple weeks ago that I forwarded to the homies as well:
“so i wore my "boom tho shirt" out last night.
the crowds went wild.
i may or may not be the illest chick on campus.”
Alex replied:
“This chick is funny.”
Clay said:
“can we get a pic at least with her wearing the shirt? how bout she spreads the boomthodome to the harvard campus...haven't seen too many orders come down from beantown. “
Now, for THE May BTGOM. She earned her spot as well, but in a different way. I’ve known her for years, and she has always hyped the movement. So much so, that she actually created the very first boom tho shirt:
Yep, that was her creation. Her boom-tho-ness is high, but her accolades are even higher. She was the Gatorade High School Volleyball National Player of the Year, an All American at the University of Arizona, and a current member of USA Volleyball which is currently training for the Beijing Olympics. She just signed a three year deal with Under Armour and has other modeling ventures.
Even being as big time as she is, she still prefers to rock a Boom Tho shirt on the weekends (dresses and heels at night). So here is the May BTGOM, Kimberly Glass:
Oh yea, and she’s 6’2” tall!
Boom.
Return of the Mac
July/03/2008 09:57 AM Filed in: Random
It’s been damn near 40 days since my last post. I’ll explain why real quickly. My trusty old MacBook decided to take a permanent vacation. It was working just fine, then it just never turned on again. The sourcefile for my site was stuck on that computer and thus, lost forever. I have since purchased a new MacBook Pro and started the rebuilding process, which included copying and pasting ALL the content from my old site.
Anyways, now I have MANY entries to update over the next couple weeks, so expect a healthy dose of ridiculousness.
Anyways, now I have MANY entries to update over the next couple weeks, so expect a healthy dose of ridiculousness.